Skating on Thin ICE with Your Assumptions

The big mess in Minnesota at the moment, besides the Somali fraud scandal, relates to ICE. Completely different narratives shape the internet headlines—some in the media blame border patrol agents for the problem, while others point fingers at the protestors. As usual, CNN and Fox News do not agree. As for me, I’ll go on the record right now and admit I don’t know the whole story. And that’s actually the main point I want to address in this post.

Proverbs Still Speaks

If you ask this pastor to name his favorite Bible verse, I will likely say the second half of Psalm 84:11—“No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.” I absolutely love this verse. I’ve quoted or texted this particular passage to countless people over the years, especially in times of trouble. But if you ask this pastor to name his most frequently applied Bible verse, I will likely name one of three verses, all from the book of Proverbs:

• Proverbs 15:1, A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

• Proverbs 19:11, Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.

• Proverbs 18:17, The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.

The first two verses remind me to restrain my mouth and my mood. Guard against rash words. Guard against rapid emotions. The last verse reminds me to restrain my mind. Guard against swift assumptions. I want to deal with this third verse, which teaches us to guard against quick conclusions.

Easy Old Patterns

Imagine this: A friend or family member of yours walks into the room, sees you, and starts to vent to you about some injustice recently committed against him or her. Your friend retells the savory story, every last-loving detail, play-by-play, blow-by-blow, with full-color commentary, about how so-and-so said this and so-and-so said that—oh the outrage!—and you listen quietly, your own emotions rising as you hear how horribly your friend has been treated. You empathize with your friend’s hurt. Your own blood starts to boil. Off with their heads—those evil monsters! The pump has been primed. You are ready to go and fight the enemy!

But wait—you’ve only heard one side of the story. Is it possible that there is more to the story? Could it be that a more thorough investigation—even if you were to ask a few further questions to either party—might shed some much-needed light on said conflict? I suspect many of us, myself included, often rush to judgment before we hear all the facts in a given case. We let our preconceived ideas cloud our thinking. Our muddled thoughts, in turn, affect both our psyche and our speech. We react and reply before we have all the information. I’ve personally witnessed this “rush to judgment” in the church. People make assumptions long before they gather all the facts. Then gossip and slander spread. Walls of division go up. People take their sides. War ensues. And oh how hard it is to end a war and un-gossip the gossip and un-slander the slandered!

A New Path Forward

What if, when conflict comes, we paused and prayed first, then asked deliberately thoughtful questions to make sure we understood the real situation from various angles? Could the atomic bomb drop of deep division and distrust be averted? Possibly. This is by no means mere utopian talk, as though we should all just sort of kumbaya our way through hard times, naive to the bitter reality of this dismal world. No, I would argue this is not ignorant optimism—it’s the way of the Master. Christ called his followers to be peacemakers (see Matt. 5). We ought to be different from the world in both our conduct and our conversation. Salt and light should describe and even define us. Salt preserves. Prior to modern refrigeration, people packed meat in salt to keep it from rotting. The world reeks rotten enough without you or me causing further stink. Indeed we as believers should seek to slow down the decomposition process through our love and good deeds (which of course includes how we form our ideas and opinions). Light allows us to see what’s truly there. Prior to electricity and modern lighting, people used lamps to light the way. As Christians we shine Christ’s light everywhere we go. That means we seek the truth and speak the truth. We refuse to settle for half-truths and non-truths.

I personally think Christians of all people should make it their ambition to always ask wise and thoughtful questions in any and every matter. That goes for at home, at church, at work, in society, and in the wider culture. Ask questions like:

• Who all was involved?

• Who all was affected?

• What all happened during this event?

• What all happened leading up to and following said event?

• Where did these events take place?

• When and how did things go “wrong”?

• Why did they happen the way they did?

• What were the main motives and secondary causes?

• How did these things come about?

• Who was doing what behind the scenes?

• To what extent has this conflict been happening all along?

• For how long has this conflict been going on?

• How might resolution come about?

Can you tell I have a journalism background? Sadly, many journalists today fail to ask enough careful questions. The mainstream media promotes an agenda when reporting the news; likewise, you and I can all too easily promote “our own agenda” when sharing our personal newsy stories. We come to the water cooler with preconceived ideas. Hence, we stage the storyline and predetermine the protagonist—and note we are usually never the antagonist. Is it any surprise then that we defend our side to the death?

I wonder if this explains, in part, what we’re witnessing in Minnesota at the moment. People see a viral video clip, read a news headline, and draw their quick conclusions. The jumping free-fall comes fast and furious, and there is no turning back. You don’t get a redo—unless, of course, you don’t jump off the conclusions cliff in the first place. Investigation takes time, to be sure. Asking good questions requires patience and a thoughtful ear. How many of us actually listen with undivided attention when the other person is speaking, even if we’re the one who asked the question? Sometimes we busy our brains with the rebuttal. We might as well just put in the earbuds and play music—because any attempt to actively listen is out the window.

It always fascinates me that God asks three different questions in the Garden of Eden (see Gen. 3:9, 11, 13). Now the Lord obviously does not need to investigate the facts because of some lack or deficiency on his part. Clearly, God asks questions in order to help the first couple make sense of their own mess. And perhaps God’s propensity to ask clarifying questions can serve as a model for us in our messy situations as well. In short, we assume too much too often. More than once my late father quipped about what happens when we “assume,” how it makes a you-know-what out of “u” and “me.”

The takeaway is this: Assume less, inquire more, and listen how you’d like others to listen to you. Our world is dark and in decay. Let’s shine some light and slow down the rot.

Did you know I've written a book about my 10 years in China? You can find Jesus in Beijing: A Missionary Memoir of Christ's Victory in China here.